Open Mouth, Insert Foot

I've spent some time over on SDN, and came across this thread which is good for some laughs. It's called "Worst Interview Answers." Here are a couple of beauties:

"so what do you like about our school?"

"oh I loved everything... ann arbor seems like such a cool city, and..."

interviewer interrupts, "you're not in ann arbor, you're in pittsburgh."

awkward pause...

"oh that's what i meant..."
...

REJECTED

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After all the welcome, presentation, tour, lunch blah blah with the other interviewees ...finally, my interviewer showed up and led me away. Nervous as hell but I tried not to show it. Once we were both alone in his office, he went straight to the very FIRST question...


Interviewer: So why do you want to become a doctor?
Me: Who? Me?

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Interviewer: What do you like to do in your spare time?

Me: Drink.

It was like a reflex. I couldn't stop myself. I started talking about craft beer/brewing, though, so I seemed slightly less of an alcoholic. I still feel like the interview went well.

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Interviewer: Do you hate anybody?
Me(before I could stop myself): I hate stupid people

Lucky for me the guy was a surgeon, he laughed and I was accepted shortly after.

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Interviewer: Suppose that you're a doctor and you have just told one of your patients (a woman) that she has [insert terminal illness here]. She has a daughter who has been in prison for seven months and the patient begs you to guarantee her that she will be alive to see her daughter's baby born.

Me: Wow that's a complicated scenario. I would promise to do everything in my power to help her, but I probably couldn't guarantee anything...[blabs for a little bit]...maybe I could ask about prison visits?

Interviewer: Gives me a look that says "Are-you-all-right-in-the-head?"

Me: [embarassed] Well, how long did you say she was in prison for?

Interviewer:...I didn't.

Me: I mean, the daughter. How long is she in prison for?

Interviewer:...no one's in prison.

Me: Oh. Ok. [Long, deafening pause] Wonder where I got "in prison" from.

Interviewer:...Thinking, "no idea, sport" Maybe I should read the scenario over again...

Me: Oh no! no! I think I understand now...

***I must have heard "in prison" instead of "pregnant" in the initial scenario. Whoops!

Result: No verdict as of yet.

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faculty dude: so do you have any questions for me?
(just stares at me)
(I think wildly for some time)
faculty: continues to stare at me
me: do you umm, have any more questions for me?
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interviewer: do you hate anybody?
me: um *stutter* *pause* *can't think of anything, totally blanking* um, i'm usually a tolerant person, but yeah, i HATE lindsay lohan.
interviewing: really? why? she seems like a nice girl.
me: yeah she SEEMS like a nice girl. but the she goes and loses 15 pounds and suddenly think she's a sex pot.
*DEAFENING SILENCE*
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Next interviewer for the day:
Him: How would you go about changing a patient's self-destructive behaviors?
Me: (like a ranting lunatic) Well I'd just lay it on the line! (pounds desk with fist)
Him: Do you think that would work?
Me: *slaps forhead* No! But I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Him: You're right. It wouldn't.

Later that interview:
Me: I hate doctors.
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Interviewer: So, it looks like you've taken a lot of Spanish classes. Can you speak Spanish?
Me: Un poquito - a little bit.
Interviewer: Well, are you still taking Spanish classes?
Me: Yeah, I took Medical Spanish last semester and I'm taking a Spanish cinema course this semester.
Interviewer: Good.. Maybe you can get better than "un poquito", then.
Me: Touché!
Me: I speak un poquito French, too.
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interviewer: so...do you know what percentage of people are uninsured in the US?
me: about 15%
interviewer: and what's the population of the US?
me: umm...2 billion?
interviewer: (some silence...just gives me a strange look)
me: well, i do know that there are 45 million people uninsured......
interviewer: (laughing)...try more like 300 million
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Interviewer: So why don't your parents want you to go into medicine?
Me: Well, my parents are very traditional.. My father thinks I should go into pharmacy so I can get done with my degree quickly and make money faster. My mom keeps saying that no man will ever want to marry a woman doctor b/c he knows she will neglect their family.. She cries for the future of her neglected grandchildren and says I am going to be a bad mother if I become a doctor.. *laughing at silly traditional parents*
Interviewer: Well, they are right. It is hard to raise a family, and my wife isn't even a doctor.
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interviewer- "whats the greatest medicine invention in the past hundred years"

me-(after thinkin for like a good solid minute: defibulator, antibodies, vaccines), "tylenol"

interviewer- "well i havent heard that one before..."

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You guys aren't going to beleive this but............. I have a buddy who applied to a six-year medical program right out of highschool. In his interview, he was asked about a scenario where a female patient repeatedly came to his clinic with different STD's. After treatment, she continued to have unprotected sex and contracted new ones. He was asked what he would do in that situation. He replied, "Well, as a physician my first priority would be to treat her disease. Then I would probably tell her to stop being a whore." The interviewer actually chuckled and said he wasn't sure if that wasn't in order. I couldn't beleive it. And he got in. Crazy huh?
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me: Um, Um well I'm afraid i might accidently kill someone..
Interviewer: so your planning on killing someone?
me: wait what? No i mean, its just that..
interviewer: so your prone to accidents then?
me: Well not really..no not at all..i mean i guess i can be clumsy sometimes.
interviewer: you realize thats not a great trait for a doctor to have.
me: silence (thinking god i really need to start thinking before i open my mouth.) so i see your an astros fan...(i dont remember exactly what i said here but i def changed the topic asap)

another guy asked me something along the lines of whats the one thing doctors should be least afraid to admit. I go " um I dont know" instantly realizing that the one thing your not supposed to say. To my surprise he goes "Yes! thats exactly it." I was totally confused for a sec before i realized what just happened. the rest the interview went really well and i got in.
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Interviewer: So, now that I've heard your strengths, what are your weaknesses?
Me: (oh crap, brain fart) After about a minute of trying to remember what I wanted to say: "I'm indecisive"
Interviewer: Cracks up
Waitlisted
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(We were talking about how my mother didn't approve of the suit I was wearing.)
Interviewer: Well I think it looks sharp on you.
Me: Really? Great! I trust your opinion more than hers.
Interviewer: laughs
Me: Because she's a woman!
Interviewer: stops laughing

(Vascular surgeon interviewer takes me on the rounds and does wound debriement before the interview)
Interviewer: So, do you have any questions for me?
Me: Why did you scrap the patient's wounds before?
Interviewer: (explains wound debriement...)
Me: Neat, is that something patients can do themselves at home?
Interviewer: Silence
Me: It would save them the time of coming into the hospital.
Interviewer: So you want to arm patients with scapels and have them self administer tissue removal?
Me: Well, maybe some procedures are easy enough to explain in a series of how-to steps.
Interviewer: So you want to start the movement for patients to do their own wound debriement? Is this what you want to do in medical school?
Me: um... no...

(Office phone rings during interview)
Me: I'm gonna run to the bathroom while you answer that.
Interviewer: No that's not necessary we're almost done.
Me: Sorry I really gotta go.

*I walk bent-over out of the room, after going to the bathroom, bladder still hurts even from the stretching, and I walk into interview room still bent-over*

Interviewer: (gives a strange look) Are you okay?
Me: Yes
Interviewer: You sure?
Me: Yes
Interviewer: Well thanks for your time today.
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I was interviewing with the Dean of Admissions at a very Catholic school.

Him: So what do you do for fun?

Me: *talks about stuff*...I also like to read non-fiction. I'm really into Richard Dawkins, and am reading a few of his books right now.

Him: What are some of his books?

Me: Oh, you know, the Selfish Gene, the God Delusion, stuff like that.

Him: Oh...the God Delusion. That's the book that made my son stop going to church.

Me: Ah, interesting. *continues to talk*
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Interviewer: What do you think about childhood obesity?
Me: Do you mean, am I for it or against it?
Interviewer: [laughs]
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Interviewer: Have you ever cheated before?
Me: mm'hmm
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My favorite one from the most bizarre interview moment thread:

At Temple:

Everyone is sitting in the waiting room, getting ready for the financial aide presentation. This guy walks, really sweaty and nervous, and everyone asks him what is wrong. He says, "I really wanted to go here, but I completely messed up my interview, and now I have no chance." Everyone tells him it couldn't be that bad, and asks him what went wrong.

He explains, "Well, my interviewer asked 'My wife is Persian, but I'm not. What are your feelings on that?.' The problem was, that's not what I thought he said. I could have sworn he said, 'My wife is a virgin, but I'm not. What are your feelings on that?,' so that's the question I proceeded to answer...."
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I had a very similar experience to yours KaraKiz...

Interviewer (I): "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

Me: "Well, I see myself as a doctor, of course, but I am not sure which kind of doctor yet, I hope to find out during medical school."

I: Stares at me as if he is expecting more...

Me: I glance over his shoulder at the pictures of his family all over the walls... "And I see myself having a family, as well..." (a true statement)

I: "Ohhh I see, and how do you plan on raising children and being a doctor?"

Me: "I will do my best to make sure that I am able to leave by 5 pm most nights, my parents both worked and I was fine, I just had a babysitter from 3-5pm. Plus I have had a boyfriend for over 4 1/2 years and he knows that I'm going to be a doctor, and he (or whoever I end up marrying) will be responsible for half of the work."

I: "Oh, so you have a long term boyfriend. Your significant other can be your biggest child. Lets see how that works out during your training, hope he's not needy"

(and it just moves on from here...)

....About 20 minutes of torture later....

I: "So do you have any questions for me?"

Me: "Yeah, I do...Those are some beautiful pictures on your walls of you with your family...how EVER do you manage being a doctor and raising a family???" (oh no, why did I have to be a smartass....)

I: "My wife raised my kids."
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Interviewer: So what kind of people annoy you the most?

Me (without thinking): Bitter old people.. (I then realized that two of my three panel interviewers were old)... who drive slowly....



Needless to say, I have not been accepted to date.