I got another letter today from the school that I didn't interview at. At first I thought to myself "What's this, did they have a change in heart?" Haha of course not. I guess they just need two people to tell candidates that they aren't good enough, in case the first letter didn't get the point across. This letter was from the Dean of the Graduate School, whereas the first one was from the program director. However, it does say this: "I am sorry to tell you that your application has been denied for the following reasons: Application was not as strong as other candidates." Which is actually just a simpler way of stating what the first letter told me, that my initial score wasn't high enough to warrant an interview.

The letter does mention later on that admission to a graduate program is based primarily on grades, and although I don't think that I was rejected solely on my grades, it does add to the miff I have with the ridiculous amounts of grade inflation that goes on in most of America's colleges and universities. I have taken classes at five different schools in two different states, at a community college, two states schools, a private school and a Christian private school, and it's culture shock each time I start a class at a different school than my undergrad (the Christian private school). The amount of grade-grubbing and hand-holding that goes on is ridiculous and I wish professors wouldn't cave into the selfish demands of my peers. You're not doing us any favors! We didn't get study guides or in-class review sessions (maybe if you were lucky the class had a TA that could run one for you at night). Scaling wasn't a common practice, unless the entire class happened to fail. I think all of the other classes I've taken, our exams have been scaled, to the point where I was getting 100s on ochem and bio exams when I definitely didn't earn a 100. I got the vibe from my undergrad that if people are getting As in a class, they weren't being challenged enough. You asked what was going to be on the test, and "Everything we've covered since the last exam" was the response. Sometimes this included info from more than one textbook, plus all the research that's been read or presented. Something that drives me nuts at my post-bacc schools is how much time we waste in a class session listing all the things we should know for an exam. It is my personal philosophy that you should never study for a grade, you study for your own personal knowledge. However most people want to know exactly what to study for so they can cram it, get a grade, then forget everything.

There's more too. At my undergrad, I studied on average, 10-15 hours for a test. That's not including my neurophys class when I'd spend at least 30 hours for one of those exams. At the other schools (I think I've taken 11 classes outside of my undergrad), the average was 2-3. My hardest exam I'd spend maybe 8, and that was in ochem. During undergrad, you were on your own in labs. And I mean, own your own. The two schools where I take classes at now, you are essentially led step by step through the labs. But the worst part of everything is the amount of complaining I hear from my fellow classmates. There is so much immaturity at the college level instead of the maturity that we are supposed to be developing.

The thing is, I know that I am better off in the long run. It's why when I began this rant, I didn't talk about GPA deflation at my undergrad, it was about GPA inflation at other schools. I graduated from my undergrad with a 3.38, which isn't a good GPA to have going into the medical field. I've brought it up to about a 3.5, which still is only average. It won't make me stick out amongst those kids with 3.7s and above. Yet I know I'm going to rock whatever grad program I end up in because I have had to work so hard for the mediocre grades I've gotten. Or should I say earned...I actually earned my grades at undergrad. Most important, however, I was taught the importance of learning to learn and for the sake of knowledge. My drive for knowledge is what motivates me, not a good grade, and therefore when I'm in a grad program getting hounded and dragged through the mud (workload wise), I'm gonna be able to stand strong amonst my peers.

But how can you relay all this on an application? You can't. Therefore I am at a superficial disadvantage when my file is reviewed by ADCOMs. So when I get a letter suggesting that maybe the reason why I wasn't accepted because of my grades, I get a tiny bit irked. I just have to remind myself that yes, I got a good education and am well prepared for when I finally enter....I just have to be patient and not let my pride distract me from my goal.

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No word from the school that I did interview at, although this is technically the week they would begin calling people about acceptances (I do happen to know that they started notifying people two weeks ago, so I know I'm not a top candidate). I'm starting to begin the process of accepting that fact that I WASN'T accepted, but then again, I didn't think I was gonna get an interview and that ended up happening. I'm kinda on the fence about which way to go. The thing is, if I'm not accepted, I need to get plan B rolling, which means studying for the GRE so I can take it and apply early to my plan B school, which is on a different admissions schedule than most schools. Obviously if I am accepted, I don't have to worry about that. :) I know the school calls you if you are accepted and sends a letter if you are rejected, but I don't think they notify you if you're waitlisted. That means I could be wondering until April, when the class is officially seated. Gah! I'm trying not to go down the route of overanalyzing my answers during interview questions, or beating myself over the fact that I didn't talk as much in the group interviews and that might have hurt me. I just want to know one way or another...:)

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PS-at the very moment I clicked "Publish Post" my phone started ringing and my heart skipped a beat! (I don't get called very often, particularly this time of day, and wasn't at all expecting a call, besides maybe an admittance one;)). It was just my dad though telling me his flight was on time....darn it.